"Biblical friendships are headed somewhere-they help you become a better person,and they compel you to go the right direction in life."

~Just Friends

page 29

Just Friends~Chapter 23~

CHAPTER 23-What to do when you can't act normal
Matt. 5:37,Eph. 4:29,Phil. 4:14,1 Cor. 15:33

• The most important thing you do with a friend is talk.Words are powerful,and God commands you to use your words to strengthen and edify.-pg. 224

• Since communication is one of the foundations of marriage,it is essential for successful friendships.

1.Talk about each others interests-share your testimony of salvation,your future plans,your interests,your hobbies,and your life experiences with each other.Discover what you have in common.
2.Give your full attention-Be attentive to every word.
3.Be complimentary but not excessively
4.Be willing to laugh at yourself-keep things light.
5.Talk about Christ-honoring things-Phil. 4:8
6.Talk about blessings you have recently received
7.Talk about the Bible you recently learned-share verses and truths you've learned in your walk with God.Share your decisions you've made for the Lord.
8.Talk about answers to prayer or prayer requests-share what God has done or what you are asking Him to do.
9.Share soul-winning experiences-Christian young people ought ti be able to encourage each other in sharing their faith with others.
10.As impossible as it might seem try to be yourself-You're one of a kind,and others will find you most interesting when you are just yourself.

• If you can't relate-talk,carry-on-a conversation-your marriage will be in bad shape.-pg. 227

CONCLUSION

• The heart only belongs in God's hand.-pg. 230

• When God intersects your life with the right person at the right time,all the wonderful desires of your heart will be fulfilled by God's good grace.-pg. 231

Just Friends~Chapter 22~

CHAPTER 22-Dress for success

• how you dress has a direct connection with who you are becoming and how other people see you.-pg. 213

1.To please the Lord Jesus Christ and honor Him above all

• When you wake up and get dressed,for whom are you dressing?

• 1 Cor. 10:31

2.To submit to the biblical principle of modesty

• Men are "sight-oriented"

• 1 Tim. 2:9

3.To submit to the biblical principles of appropriateness and to identify with godliness

• Phil. 4:5

• When it comes to dress,we should have a higher respect for spiritual environments than we do mowing the lawn.

4.To promote an environment of purity and spiritual growth

• How you dress contributes to your environments with friends,at school,and at church.

5.To honor the convictions of our parents or pastor

• Heb. 13:7,Rom. 12:10

• I'm right to honor and prefer my authority just to show love and respect.

6.To give an account to the Lord with joy

• We really do have to stand before God to answer for what we wear and the thoughts we influence in the minds of others.

• 2 Cor. 5:10

7.To promote a spirit of maturity

• Maturity isn't an age,it's the acceptance of responsibility.And no responsible adult gets to dress the way they want all the time.

• 1 Cor. 13:11,1 Tim. 4:12

8.To exemplify a distinct lifestyle not conformed to the world

• Eph. 2:8,Rom. 12:2

• God instructs us in Galatians that even as we are in Christ,we are also to put on Christ.

9.To protect the thoughts and innocence of peers

• You are broadcasting your commitment to purity.You are saying to others "think purely about me!" You are protecting their hearts and mind and displaying the responsibility and respect.

10.To be a clear witness of the Gospel

• Shine bright for Christ in a carnal culture.

• 1 Sam. 16:7,Matt. 5:16

• Everybody knows that dress matters.It's really just a matter of submitting our selfish wills to God and living to please Him first.

• Dress in a way that absolutely pleases the Lord and shows respect for Him in every environment.

• We shouldn't look down on someone who doesn't dress perfectly to our standards.

• You must define your standards by your authorities and God's principles,and be prepared to answer to Him for it.

• The winning life is really about surrendering your identity fully to Jesus Christ.

• If you dress in a way that honors the Lord your friendships will benefit too.

Just Friends~Chapter 20~

CHAPTER 20-Advantages of just friends
1.You have more time for spiritual things

• Time and energy you would have in an obligated relationship,you can now invest into walking with God and knowing Him.

2.You can see other couples mistakes clearly

• Watch the mistakes of others and make mental note to avoid them.

3.You can spend time with others without pressure

• You are 'free' to talk to others.

4.You have more money to fill people's need with

• Invest that same money into God's work.

5.You have less gossip spread about you
6.You don't have to go through the heartbreak of "breaking-up"

• A person without a boyfriend or girlfriend can spare themselves agony.

7.You can focus on more important relationships

• invest in your family,leading others to Christ,discipiling new Christians,and serving the Lord.

8.You grow more because your heart is focused on Christ

• You are free of infatuation and distraction

9.You avoid a ton of temptation
10.You enjoy life more because you have fewer relational burdens

• You don't have to feel obligated.

• Don't be impatient with God...maybe a guy or girl would be the single distraction that keeps you from growing in God's grace at this point in your life...your time will come.

Just Friends~Chapter 19~

CHAPTER 19-Setting the right pace

• You are running a marathon,not a sprint!the right pace will help you arrive at that wonderful someday in one piece-prepared and ready for your future spouse and God's calling.-pg. 187

• Agree to not develop a sense of obligation to each other.-pg. 189

• Set intentional limits upon yourself.-pg. 189

• Other people will see your misplaced priorities before you do!-pg. 190

• to really set the pace is to let someone else set it for you.-pg. 190

CONSIDERING THE RIGHT BOUNDARIES
1.Limit face to face time-Balance your time
2.Limit verbal communication-how many calls and how long
3.Limit non-verbal communication-set limits
4.Sit with your family in church
5.Stay "group friendly"-have fun with the whole group
6.Keep communication accountable-Don't write anything that someone in authority couldn't read and be pleased with.

Just Friends~Chapter 18~

CHAPTER 18-Becoming the right person

• 2 Tim. 3:17-God wants you to be ready to go-fully prepared for your future calling and family when they arrive.-pg. 177

• Pro. 24:27;16:1

• The more prepared you are for future roles,the more confidence you will have when you begin those roles.-Pg. 178

20 QUALITIES EVERYONE SHOULD PURSUE
1.Learn to be spiritual

• Matt. 6:33

• Desire to do God's will more than anything.

2.Learn to develop godly character

• This is subconsciously doing right.

3.Learn to be loyal

• Learn to take a stand and to speak in defense of those who love you.

4.Learn to treat your family well

• If you treat your parents and siblings right,you will one day treat your spouse and children right.

5.Learn stability

• Be constant and consistent in your attitude,your service,your respect,and your treatment of others.

6.Learn to develop convictions

• It is time to establish your own convictions and personal standards.

7.Learn to look sharp

• Have a clean and appropriate appearance.

8.Learn to set and pursue goals

• Pro. 29:18

• Set your direction in life.

9.Learn to be unselfish and submissive

• Begin to live for others.Think of others before yourself.

10.Learn to be respectful and attentive

• Build great listening skills in church,in school,or when another person is speaking.

11.Learn to make good decisions biblically

• Learn to do right things no matter how hard it is or what it costs.

12.Learn to control your temper

• God wants us to be angry at sin but loving towards people

13.Learn to have a great testimony

• Pro. 22:1

14.Learn to work hard

• learn to pour your best into everything your given to do.

15.Learn to take care of your body

• Bad health habits will greatly hurt your usefulness to God.

16.Learn to tithe and trust God

• of everything that God gives to you,give Him back at least 10%.

17.Learn to be real and sincere

• refuse to be a hypocrite.

18.Learn to be understanding and accepting of others

• Godly people love and treat everybody with decency and respect.

19.Learn to get along with others

• Some people seem to relish conflict...don't be this way.

20.Learn to have discernment and discretion

• It's not having to be the center of attention,but letting God be the center of attention.

• 1 Pet. 3:4

• Place your focus on being right inside,and God will give you a great countenance.

• Youth is about becoming the right person!

Just Friends~Chapter 17~

CHAPTER 17-Choose Just Friends

• Rather than obsessing over guys or girls-obsess over God and growing into His image.Obsess over knowing Him and spending time with others who want to know Him.Obsess over becoming who God desires you to become.-pg. 167

1.A friend is kind

• Prov. 18:24-Friends treat each other considerately.-pg. 168

2.A friend is faithful

• Distance and time will not separate real friends.A friend loves no matter what.he will never forsake you.-pg. 168-169

• Pro. 27:10

3.A friend makes you a better person

• Pro. 27:17

• A friend always lifts you up and pulls you to higher ground.A friend always urges you to do right.-pg. 169

4.A friend is knit to your heart

• 1 Sam. 18:1

• This friendship is a gift from God and encourages your heart in godly things.-pg. 169

5.A friend can share friends

• A true friend doesn't have problems with friends having other friends.-pg. 169

6.A friend expresses love

• Secret love has no place in a real friendship.-pg. 169

• Pro. 27:5

• Tell friends why they are important to you,and express your gratitude.This isn't about saying "I love you."It's about living it.-pg. 169-170

7.A friend is willing to wound

• Pro. 27:6

• It is the responsibility of a friend to correct or even kindly rebuke when love needs to be spoken.-pg. 170

8.A friend strengthens others in God

• 1 Sam. 23:16

• This is one reason why you need to be a strong Christian,so you need to have strength to give in time of need.-pg. 170

9.A friend is willing to be second

• A true friend helps another succeed and is willing to be out of the spotlight.-pg. 170

10.A friend rejoices in blessing

• A true friend will always be able to rejoice when God does something good for another person.-pg. 170

11.A friend praises his friends

• Pro. 27:12

• Friends look for the good and compliment others.-pg. 170-171

12.A friend doesn't overstay his welcome

• Pro. 27:7

• Too much of a good friendship is unhealthy for both people.-pg. 171

13.A friend gives biblical counsel

• To be a good friend,you must know God's word and be able to give biblical wisdom.-pg. 171

14.A friend is sensitive

• Pro. 27:14

• A friend tries to be sensitive and responsive to the spirit and heart of another.-pg. 171

15.A friend sharpens

• Pro. 27:17

• Are your friends better Christians because of you?-pg. 171

16.A friend helps through trials

• Pro. 17:17

• Good friends are there with biblical support and prayer when someone goes through a tough time.-pg. 171-172

• Pro. 18:24

• As God sees you being who you should be,in His time He will most likely knit your soul close to a member of the opposite gender.At that time,it won't take much to build a strong and healthy relationship with the right person-you will already have laid a strong foundation by being his ot her friend.-pg. 173

Just Friends~Chapter 16~

 

CHAPTER 16-Choose true love

• Lust is a sinful,selfish desire for something that is forbidden.-pg.160

• Your goal as a Christian should be to allow God's Holy Spirit to control your life rather than allowing your lusts to control you.-pg. 160

• Gal. 5:16,22

1.Lust is physical while love is spiritual

• Lust is fed by touching,but love is fed by selflessness.Love is better-it majors on the spiritual side of a relationship.-pg. 160

2.Lust is temporal while love is eternal

• immoral relationships are temporal-lust not love.Love is better it lasts forever.-pg. 161

3.Lust is selfish while love cares for others

• Lust only wants to fulfill it's natural desires.Love is better-it cares for others.-pg. 161

4.Lust brings guilt while love produces a clear conscience

• After lust there is always shame and remorse because of the sin.Love is better-it brings no guilt.-pg. 161

5.Lust says "hurry up" while love says "wait on God"

• Lust happens quickly,but real love takes time to grow...lust must be satisfied now.love is better-it helps you wait.-pg. 161

6.Lust sees no fault;love forgives fault

• Love is not blind;lust is.Love does see weaknesses,but it continues to love.Love is better-it loves you the way you are.-pg. 162

7.Lust thrives on fantasy;love is based upon truth

• lust idolizes and worships another based upon an image that isn't real.Love is better-it is real.-pg. 162

8.Lust fades over time,and love grows over time

• love intensifies with time.Infatuation and list wear off.Love is better-it grows.-pg. 162

9.Lust always destroys but Love builds

• Love always builds your life and makes you a better person in God's grace.Love is better-it builds.-pg. 162

• When you experience attraction towards another person-and you will-you must immediately make a choice-love or lust?-pg. 162

• Love will cause you to always do what is spiritually best for you and the other person.-pg. 162

• You should love your friends with a Christ-like love that helps them be holy,godly,and pure.If you truly love that other person,you will allow the Holy Spirit to crush lust,and you will keep the relationship pure and right in God's eyes.-pg. 162-163

• Practice falling in love-not by allowing infatuation to consume you but by loving God so much that you love others the way He does.-pg. 163

Just Friends~Chapter 15~

CHAPTER 15-Choose family first

• When you establish a relationship of honor with your mom and dad,you place yourself directly in the path of God's blessing.-pg. 150

• He wants you to find your spiritual and emotional stability in His plan.And for now,a large part of that stability and strength will come from a good relationship with your family.-pg. 150

• Eph. 6:2-3

• Your walk with God and your family relationships are the most important part of the equation.More than you realize,your home is the testing ground of your future.-pg. 153

1.Satan is attacking the home

• If Satan attacks it,then you should fight for it.-pg. 153

2.Bible Characters had some rough situations

• No one has a perfect home,but every home is a learning environment-so have a soft heart regardless of your home situation.-pg. 153

3.How you treat your parents is how you will treat your spouse

• You are becoming what you will be.Your life's pattern's are being engraved upon your heart.-pg. 154

4.Future family relationships will mirror sibling relationships

• If you can build a great relationship with your brothers,or sisters,you're going a long way in spiritual growth and preparation for the future.-pg. 155

• Psalm 133:1

• If you will stay close to your family,your other friendships will have much better balance and strength.-pg. 157

• Someday,when you have a family of your own,you will have already learned how to make them first priority next to God.-pg. 157

Just Friends~Chapter 14~

CHAPTER 14-Choose "No touch"-part two

• Divorces are made of grown-up teenagers who never kearned about restraint.-pg. 139

• 2 Tim. 2:22,1 Pet. 2:11,Col. 3:5

• Being physical with a guy or girl makes "provision for the flesh"-which are specifically commanded not to do.-pg. 141

• Rom. 13:14

• Making provision for the flesh...is giving place to temptation.-pg. 141

• When you start touching "just a little" you are inviting greater temptation,and you won't be strong enough to resist.-pg. 141

• 1 Cor. 7:1

• Young men-keeping your hands off a young lady shows great respect for her heart,her father,her God,and her future husband(even if it is you!).-pg. 145

• Restrain your physical desires out of respect for your God and your future spouse.-pg. 146

• It's best,early in your relationship,to talk to your friend and agree together not touch.-pg. 146

• God's will for your life does not include touching.-pg. 147

• When you keep your hands off your friend,you can have a clear conscience with God,with your parents,with your friends parents,and with all others.-pg. 147

Just Friends~Chapter 13~

CHAPTER 13-Choose "No touch"-part one

• If you want your guy/girl relationships to stay healthy and helpful,you will have to make this big choice-don't touch each other.-Pg. 132

• Being physical never held a marriage together.Being physical is the expression of what holds a marriage together.-pg. 134

• He's building the foundation and the steel structure-self control,commitment,and integrity.-pg. 135

• He's helping you to establish the ability to control and direct those desires before you get married.-pg. 135

• 1 Cor. 9:25-God wants to be the master of your body,and He wants you to have control of your desires.-pg. 135

• Restraining your physical desires before marriage is the best proof that you can keep them in bounds after marriage.-pg. 136

• In restraining desires,you're saving them for the right person at the right time.-pg. 137

Just Friends~Chapter 12~

CHAPTER 12-Choose Purity-Part two

• Staying pure before marriage is well worth it,-Pg. 117

IMMORALITY COMES WITH A HIGH PRICE TAG

• Immorality is the most personally devastating sin you could commit.-Pg. 117

1.It robs you of your peace with God

• The sweetness,rest,joy,and comfort you once had is gone.-Pg. 118

2.it leaves you filled with guilt

• Your actions stay in your memory.They are never forgotten.-Pg. 118

3.It breaks your fellowship with God

• Psalm 66:18-The sin of immorality breaks your close walk with Him.-Pg. 118

4.It hinders your usefulness for God

• God desires to use you for a great purpose,but He commands you to be a vessel fit for His use.-Pg. 118

5.It prevents the blessing of God

• Remember how David was chastened because of his sin with Bathsheba?-Pg. 118

6.It destroys you emotionally

• Your young heart and mind is not equipped to handle this,and your youth is too valuable to throw away.-Pg. 118

7.It destroys the relationship

• A relationship and two lives are never the same after immorality.-Pg. 118

8.It robs your marital intimacy

• your body belongs to God and a future spouse-don't ever give it to anyone else.-Pg. 118-119

9.It risks disease

• If a person will be immoral with you,chances are that they have been with others before you.-Pg. 119

10.It breaks trust

• Physical intimacy prior to commitment instills trust.-Pg. 119

11.It leads others astray

• Others are watching you,and someone like a younger sibling will likely follow you down the wrong path.-Pg. 119

12.It risks pregnancy

• Every child deserves to be born into a home where the mom and dad are married,in love,and committed for life.-Pg. 119

13.It leaves you dissapointed and regretful

• The aftermath is always guilt,pain,and regret.-Pg. 120

14.It destroys the first experiences of your future marriage

• Someday God will bring you together for the first time with a wonderful spouse.-Pg. 120

• Tough God can forgive and restore from immorality,sadly,it places scars upon your life that will remain for a lifetime.-Pg. 120

AVOIDING IMMORALITY
Traps:
1.Backsliding

• Keep your heart soft,and walk closely and daily with God in His Word and prayer.-Pg. 121

• Psalm 119:9

2.Rebellion

• Choose to trust and obey those who love you.-Pg. 121

3.Sexual imagery

• There's a difference between seeing and looking.You can see something by accident and look away.Looking is when you allow your eyes to linger or you choose to see.-Pg. 121

4.Physical contact

• Touching in a guy/girl relationship is never a good thing until you are married.-Pg. 121

5.Emotional dependency

• Emotional closeness always leads to physical closeness.-Pg. 121

6.Clothing styles

• Be sure to wear clothing that contributes to holiness,modesty,and purity.-Pg. 122

7.Time alone with a guy/girl

• If you have a personal policy to never be alone with the opposite gender,than you're pretty much guaranteed ti never loose your purity.-Pg. 122

8.Lack of accountability

• Never be out of sight of authority.Whether in another room or another car-a lack of accountability always bring increased temptations.-Pg. 122

9.Impure imagination

• Psalm 101:3,2 Cor. 10:5

• What you see and hear become your thoughts,attitudes,desires,and eventually actions.-pg. 122

10.Corrupt communication

• 1 Cor. 15:33

• Guard your life from the worlds music,cursing,and dirty jokes.-Pg. 122

• Your communication not only reveals your heart,it also directs your heart.-Pg. 123

11.Peer pressure

• Stand strong in the Lord and choose to remain pure,no matter what everyone else is doing.-Pg. 123

12.Sinful media

• Pro. 4:23

• Lock up the doors of your heart,and refuse to allow any impurity!-Pg. 123

13.Desire to prove something

• Find security in the Lord so that you have nothing to prove.-Pg. 123

14.Misunderstanding of love

• True love always does what is best for the other person.Therefore,in your guy/girl relationships,true love will always protect purity.-Pg. 124

15.Curiosity

• Take it to God and your parents or another godly leader.-Pg. 124

• Proverbs 30:12

RECOVERING FROM PAST FAILURE

• God loves you,and His grace can help you.His mercy can cleanse you and place you on a pathway of hope and blessing.-pg. 125

1.Confess sin to God if you have not already done so

• 1 John 1:9,Psalm 51

2.Learn from past sin
3.Apologize to the person who was involved
4.Tell your parents,pastor,and/or counselor
5.Put it behind you,and do not bring it up again
6.Don't dwell on it

• Phil. 4:8

7.Cleanse your heart in God's word

• Young adults who spend much time in God's Word are stronger against temptation.-Pg. 126

THE PRODUCT OF PURITY

• The product of purity is worth all the waiting,all the fighting,all the enduring.-Pg. 127

• By staying pure and resisting temptation in life,you are building strength in your life.-Pg. 127

Just Friends~Chapter 11~

CHAPTER 11-Choose Purity-part one
1.Go to God's Word

• Align your thinking with God's Word on this subject,and let him be God.-Pg. 112

• Phil. 4:8,1 Tim. 5:22,Titus 1:15,1 Tim. 4:12

2.Go to parents or godly authorities

• God expects you to hear truth from those who desire the very best for you.-Pg. 113

SEE IMMORALITY AS SIN

• 1 Cor. 6:18,Eph. 5:3,1 Cor. 7:2,Col. 3;5,1 Thess. 4:3,Gal. 5:16,1 Pet. 2:11,Rom. 13:14,Gal. 5:24

Just Friends~Chapter 10~

CHAPTER 10-Choose Controlled Emotions-Part two
17 SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY
1.Thinking about a person too much

• You can't function at your best in school,church,or other life priorities because this person is always on your mind.-Pg .97

2.Getting jealous easy

• Your friend can't relate with anyone else without you getting possessive.-Pg. 98

3.Subconsciously expecting someone to be obligated to you

• You take offense when your friend doesn't do what you expect them to do.-Pg. 98

4.Needing to be in constant contact

• You must call,email,text,talk constantly and without restraint.This is very dangerous and unhealthy.-Pg. 98

5.Not having other friends

• You loose touch with other good friendships because you are son consumed with one person.-Pg. 98

6.Having to be alone with another person

• You can't be with your friend in groups and still have a good time with the groups.-Pg. 98

7.Being easily offended at each other

• You start misreading each other or having expectations that don't get met.-Pg. 98

8.Saying "I love you"

• This is always too soon in a teen relationship,and it always shows great immaturity when spoken too soon.Save this for the person to whom you'll be engaged.-Pg. 98

9.Starting to touch

• It feels good,but needing to touch always means you are too emotionally involved.-Pg. 98

10.Distancing family

• You  can't enjoy being with your family because  another person has essentially replaced those relationships.-Pg. 98

11.Being irritable when apart

• Your grumpy and hard to live with because your life is consumed with a boyfriend or girlfriend.This is your conscience troubling you because you are out of God's will.-pg. 99

12.Working out problems often

• Long,emotional talks about "What's wrong" and trying to fix things become the norm.-Pg. 99

13.Fear of losing that person

• You can't imagine moving forward if this person stopped liking you.He or she defines your life.-Pg. 99

14.Loss of interest in spiritual things

• Your walk with God or attention span in church suffers because you are consumed with another person.-Pg. 99

15.Having to always be together

• When you are at school,youth group,church,or any other function you must be with this person.-Pg. 99

16.Giving your heart to another person

• Someone other than God and your parents has your heart.-Pg. 99

17.Extreme despair during a break-up

• You're nearly clinically depressed or suicidal because of a "break up".-Pg. 99

HOW EMOTIONS CAN BE CONTROLLED

• Emotions need one thing-restraint.-Pg. 100

• Reason must rule romance.-Pg. 100

1. Yield to God's Holy Spirit daily

• Your desires will be stronger than your ability to restrain them.-Pg. 101

• Ephesians 5:18

2.Ask for help

• You must ask your parents and other to help you to tell you when they see emotion getting too strong and put up boundaries to keep those emotions in check.-Pg. 101

• 3.Submit to the guidelines of your authorities

• Follow your parents guidelines.-Pg. 102

4.Make emotions follow truth

• Feelings can be forced to obey truth.-Pg. 102

• Proverbs 16:32;25:28

• Learning to control your emotions now will serve you well the rest of your life.-Pg. 103

WHAT TO DO WHEN EMOTIONS START TO GROW

• Just prepare and expect it.-Pg. 103

• When you find yourself in the middle of a friendship and the Holy Spirit starts to warn you that your emotions are getting too strong,there are three simple things you must do:

1.Spend less time together

• Agree to keep the Lord first and to balance your time together.-Pg. 103

• Agree to be secure in your friendship and not possessive or manipulative of each other.-Pg. 104

2.Give less attention to this relationship

• Have a life outside of one girl or one guy.When you are not together,don't be obsessed with each other.-pg. 104

3.Be willing to take a break

• When the time comes that emotions have a stronghold on you,there's really only one thing to do-take a break.-Pg. 105

• Stop giving attention to this relationship.-Pg. 105

• When you invest young emotions into infatuation,it's like wasting nutrients that you need.-Pg. 106

• A right friendship will strengthen you,but unhealthy relationships drain you  and make you weak.A wrong relationship cripples you and prevents the strong and fruitful adulthood that God intends for you.-Pg. 106

• The real problem with emotional attachment is that you're expecting somebody to be the strength of your heart-and that's God's territory.-Pg. 106

• Psalm 73:26

• Don't expect another person  to be your stability.Look to God for strength,and let all emotions be governed by Him.-Pg. 107

Just Friends~Chapter 9~

CHAPTER 9-Choose controlled emotions-Part one

• Choose to let God have complete and absolute control over your emotions.-Pg. 91

• A relationship requires time and attention.The more time you spend with a person or the more attention you give a relationship when you're apart,the more emotions grow in that relationship.-Pg. 93

• The word infatuation means "to be filled with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for."-Pg.93-94

• One of the greatest dangers of youthful relationships is emotional dependancy.-Pg. 94

• God never,ever intended for you to be guided by emotion.-Pg 94

Just Friends~Chapter 8~

CHAPTER 8-Choose God's Will
Stay in the will of God,no matter what!-Pg. 77

• He doesn't give out information about His will until you need to know and until He's certain that you are already surrendered to it-no matter what.-Pg. 77

• He reveals His will to those that say "YES" before they know what it is.And the way to "YES" to the future will of God is to say "YES" to His will today.-Pg.77

• The road to God's someday will starts with His today will.It starts right in front of you,choosing the right things,right now.-Pg. 78

• Every friendship is either a step into His will or a step away.-Pg. 79

• If  you are out of God's will now,not only are you unhappy,but you'll only be more unhappy in the future!The most miserable place to be is out of God's will.-Pg. 80

• If you alter your course as a young adult by just small increments-like two degrees-you will miss the someday will of God by a great distance.-Pg.80

HOW YOUNG ADULTS LEAVE GOD'S WILL
1.A serious dating relationship

• Too often these take the place of God and cause a person to be too involved,move too fast,and go too far.-Pg.80-81

2.A new job

• We hope that your relationship with God is worth more than minimum wage.-Pg.81

3.A new friend

• Choose spiritual people to be your closest friends.-Pg.81

• A relationship in God's will has eternal value!-Pg.81

DISCERNING GOD'S WILL
1.His word

• This is the final authority for all God's "speaking"-Pg.82

• The more you know the Bible and apply it's truth,the more you will recognize God's voice.-Pg. 82-83

2.His appointed authorities

• In every life,God makes His will known through the guidence of biblical authorities.-Pg.83

3.His Holy Spirit within

• God desires to direct our lives moment by moment-pg. 84

• Ask God to help you hear and obey the Holy Spirit.-Pg. 84

4.His Spirit-led counselors

God often speaks to us and confirms His will through the voice of others.-Pg.84

5.His providential circumstances

• God uses circumstances to point us to His will.-Pg.85

• In every circumstance you should ask "God,what are you telling me through these circumstances?"-Pg.85

KEEPING YOUR FRIENDSHIPS IN GOD'S WILL
1.Pray daily for wisdom

• Philippians 4:6-ask God daily to help you honor Him in your relationships.-Pg. 86

2.Pray for the person God is preparing for you

• Ask God to keep your future spouse in His will.Ask him to make you the right person as well.-Pg.86

3.Predetermine what kind of close friends you will have

• You will someday marry a friend.For this reason,be courageous enough to separate from bad influences and establish good ones.-Pg. 86

4.Pray for and with your friends

• Let your friendships be spiritual-Pg. 87

5.Be a public example of a godly friend

• Others are always watching you,and your example could be used by God to encourage them.Don't ever forget the younger eyes are studying you and imitating your lifestyle.-Pg. 87

• His will is a wonderful gift.-pg. 87

• Nobody knows how to make you happy like God does.And the happiest place in life is in the center of His will.-Pg. 87

• Choose God's will over every friend,every attraction,every desire.Keep your friendships in His will.It is possible to be attracted to another person and to keep that developing relationship in the will of God.-Pg. 87-88

Just Friends~Chapter 7~

CHAPTER 7-Choose "The Right Person at the Right Time"

• The goal of any friendship or guy/girl relationship should be to help you become the person that God wants you to be.-pg. 69

• Be committed to the right person at the right time.-pg. 70

• It's not about falling in love now-it's about preparing now for the right person at the right time.-pg. 70

• If it is God's will for you to one day be married,there is a right person for you!Only god really knows who that person is and when you will meet..In His time,he will intersect your lives by His providential will.-pg. 70

• Proverbs 29:18-vision is a metalk image of God's preffered future.-pg. 71

• Your friendships are not about immediate gratification...if you keep the end goal in view-the right person at the right time-you'll develop friendships that help you stay on course.-pg. 72

• God's ultimate vision for your guy/girl relationships is to preserve,protect,and prepare you for the right person at the right time.-pg. 73

• Every friendship is either making you more prepared for the right person or less prepared.Every note,email,text message,or phone call is either strengthening you for the journey or weakening you.-pg. 73

• God's blessing on your future is worth the wait.-pg. 73

• This friendship should help me grow.If it doesn't,then I must let it go.-pg.74

HOW TO KNOW THE "RIGHT PERSON"
1.Character

• A heart for God and a committed life.This is a life that is growing in biblical wisdom and understanding.This is a heart of integrity and honesty.-pg. 74

2.Competence

• The ability to grow in knowledge.-pg. 75

3.Chemistry

• The friendship factor.-pg. 75

• Can this person be my absolute best friend for life?Do our hearts click with a kind of closeness only time will strengthen?-pg. 75

• The right person will be your absolute,lifetime companion and best friend,and time will only make that union better.-pg. 75

4.Will of God

• Is this person God's will for me?-pg. 75

Just Friends~Chapter 6~

CHAPTER 6-A wonderful "Someday!"
1 Corinthians 2:9

• God is working on your someday,and your going to love it!-Pg. 55

• Everything you do today is about preparing for the future.-Pg. 55

• The struggle with sowing and reaping is waiting!-Pg. 56

The Truth of Sowing and Reaping:
1.Harvest always comes
There's no avoiding it.
2.Harvest always requires a wait

• There's always a gap between planting the seeds and reaping the harvest.Usually the wait is years,not months.

3.Harvest requires tenacity

• Keep sowing the right seeds and don't get weary with well-doing.

4.Harvest always reflects the seed.

• You get what you plant.

5.Harvest always involves outside forces

• Like the sun and rain affect the farmer's seeds,so your friends,your church,your influences(music,entertainment,etc.),and your daily lifestyle impacts the seeds you are planting.

• In every area of life,you are sowing seeds-and one day you will reap a harvest.-Pg. 57

Galatians 6:9

• If you rush God's timing,get into serious relationships too soon,and try to reap fruit too early,you will forever change what your life could have been.-Pg. 58

A Wonderful "Someday" Comes  by Sowing the Right Seeds

• Love is a choice-you plant it.Grow it.Harvest it.-Pg. 58

• That's how a great marriage happens-by choice.It's a desicion that starts now-long before you are married.-Pg. 59

• If you want to arrive someday at a lifetime love and great marriage,you have to get the road map and start the journey in the right direction.-Pg. 59

1. A great marriage is made of TRUST

• Trust is about believing and relying upon your spouse.

• Start planting the seeds of honesty in your life.

2.A great marriage is made of COMMITMENT

• If you can't trust God with your life and commit completely to Him,you will never commit completely to another human being.

3.A great marriage is made of INTIMACY

• Intimacy means "just the two of us"

• You grow intimacy in your marriage by planting purity in your youth-by reserving your self for just one person-physically and emoitionally.

4.A great marriage is made of LOVE

• True love is a choice to give.True love is sacrificial and lives for the honor of another.

• When you choose to love Christ,His love will find it's way out of your heart toward others.

5.A great marriage is made of SUBMISSION

• Submission is learning to give in.Submission is letting the other person win.Submission is saying "I'll let your desires become mine,and I am happy to let you have your way."

• Let others have their way and to sacrifice yourself for someone else-you are preparing for the great harvest.

Romans 12:10
A Wonderful "Someday" Comes by Waiting for the Right Season

• Patience is one of God's big requirements-He likes to work by His timetable,and He's not in a hurry.He's more concerned with who you are becoming than how fast you are getting there.-Pg. 63

Philippians 1:6

• The point is,the best marriage comes  to those who during their youth are willing to wait on God's timing.-Pg. 63

• Plant your heart in the Word of God and let God bring forth fruit in the right season.-Pg. 63

James 1:4

• One reason to become the right is so you will be attracted to someone with the right qualities,and they will be attracted to you.-Pg. 64

Spiritual people influence their friends to a greater spiritual growth.-Pg. 64

• Find someone you can be like and hang around them!-Pg. 64

Just Friends~Chapter 5~

CHAPTER 5-Discovering God's Model

• Finding the right person isn't about finding the right person-it;s about becoming the right person.-Pg. 46

• The more you force your will on God,the less you truly understand His will.-Pg. 46

Ephesians 5:1&2

• It means that God holds all your hopes and dreams-that He is your everything.It means that God is the center of your life-your provider,your strength,your refuge-not a boyfriend of girlfriend.- Pg. 47-48

• God desires for you to be on an upward journey of spiritual growth.- Pg. 48

• When marriage struggles-and all of them do-it doesn't mean you married the wrong person.It means that you need to grow-to become a better person.-Pg. 48

~It means God...should be the center of your life
~It means you must spend more time preparing your heart than daydreaming about an infatuation.
~It means your first love should be Jesus Christ.
~It means that every friendship should be helping you become the person that God desires you to be.

• If you will focus on becoming the right person,every friendship will have a godly purpose and a Christ-centered approach.-Pg. 52

• Which way are you thinking?Why are you "just friends" with the opposite gender?Is it so you can have security,acceptance,and artificial love?Is it so you can pretend to be married?Or is it so you can grow in God's grace and prepare for the right person in your future.-Pg. 52

• They (Isaac and Rebekah) were patient to wait on HIs timing.Their story reveals two people who were focused on becoming the right person.-Pg. 53

• Your life must be consumed with God and dependent upon Him,and your friendships and relationships should help you grow in His grace. -Pg. 53-54

Just Friends~Chapter 4~

CHAPTER 4-Erasing Hollywood's model
(1 John 2:15,James 4:4)

• You must constantly check your heart and make sure you are not buying into Satan's lies.

HOW HAS THE WORLD AFFECTED CHRISTIANS PHILOSOPHIES?:
1.Wrong role models

• Your role model ought to be those who are living in godliness and purity-Pg. 40

2.Wrong Perspective on reality
3.Wrong view of love and marriage
4.Wrong expectation of immediate gratification

• God's word makes it clear that the best things in life are worth waiting for!-Pg.42

• Live today in a way that will lead to no regrets.- Pg. 42

5.Wrong emphasis on personal experience
6.Wrong focus on fashion and the body

• What makes us beautiful are the qualities of the heart-a meek and quiet spirit,humility,holiness,and godly character.-Pg. 43

7.Wrong view of maturity

• Innocence is a thing of great value in God's eyes-Pg. 43

• Be glad if you don't fully understand sin or wickedness.Be intentionally ignorant.Focus instead on growing in wisdom and understanding that which is good and right.-Pg. 43

• Maturity is not familiarity with sin.Maturity is not an age.Maturity is the acceptance of responsibility.-Pg. 43

• God's philosophy is not about finding the right person.God will lead you to the right person.-Pg. 44

• God's plan is about becoming the right person.-Pg. 44